Written by Rachel Denison
I don’t even know where to begin. The past 6 weeks have been one beautiful, miraculous mess. Wesley Noah is here, and he has turned our worlds upside down.
Thank you for sticking with us while we figure out this whole parenting a newborn thing. Today I have finally had the time, mental capacity and free hands to write.
You know, caring for a newborn while recovering from birth and trying to figure out nursing is not for the faint of heart. It is just as hard as everyone tells you it will be, if not more. Your emotions and hormones are all over the place, and your heart is so full of love you think it’ll explode. Therefore, there are LOTS of tears. I’ve never felt so emotionally stretched in my life, and we are far from excelling as first time parents.
But I can honestly say, I have never felt the nearness, kindness, grace and strength of God as intensely and consistently as I do now. This is likely because I’ve never been so dependent and humbled before. The reality and depth of my need for the voice, presence, love and wisdom of God is so intense and felt in every moment of every day.
I’ve been amazed at how I can tangibly feel the power of God working through me when I cry out in weakness. When I feel I’m unable to care for Wes, love him well, and serve him in my own strength, God comes swiftly to fill the gap. But that’s just the point— I must be willing to cry out to him, to turn to him and ask.
The verse of Scripture I’ve been standing on in this season is Isaiah 40:11, “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” This verse has come to life for me as I turn to Jesus for wisdom and strength. He has been endlessly faithful to carry me close and gently lead me as I care for my sweet boy. He knows how difficult this season is, and he has so much compassion and grace for me every single day if I’ll partake of it. I haven’t stopped meditating on this truth, and God has brought me so much life as he promised: “I cannot do this in my own strength. In Christ I will be everything my child needs.”
I’d encourage you today if you feel you’re simply not enough for whatever God’s calling you to, reach out to him today. He never promised we could do anything on our own. But he did promise his presence with which all things are possible. Letting go of my own perfection and grasping for his fullness is the only thing that’s brought me peace these days and in the hard moments. And I’m thankful he will continue to supply all my needs “according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
This song has been a rich blessing to me lately. I hope it is for you too: